So The DEATH RACE  aka  DEATH RACE ToonThousand
by SHADO Commander
Summary: From a challenge by NoDrogs - The KP Cast and some surprising guests take KiGo in a completely unexpected direction under the creative supervision of Ms. Shego Corman.  Be afraid, be very afraid.  Just the trailer for now, but it IS coming.


_**AUTHORS NOTE -** No, this isn't all there is folks, nor will the final work be presented in this semi-script format. This is just the 'TRAILER' for a fic I'm working on based on a challenge by NoDrogs over on the Haven. Given my recent broken shoulder I'm loathe to set a timeframe for exactly when the first chapter might be hitting, so I figured I'd toss this out just to see what kind of interest it would build._ **_Legal disclaimers at bottom to avoid spoilers! _**

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THIS FAN FIC HAS NOT YET BEEN RATED. THIS TRAILER HAS BEEN RATED "M"

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COMING SOON TO THIS FAN FIC SITE

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_FADE IN – OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS AS A COMPUTER ANIMATED SCHEMATIC OF THE WEST COAST OF THE UNITED STATES APPEARS ON SCREEN. As our POV ZOOMS IN on the map, we hear the voice of MR. BARKIN, who has been pressed into service as an __overly-melodramatic 'Mr. Movie" type of narrator)_

**MISTER BARKIN:**

(OFF SCREEN VOICE OVER)

The year is 2025. Per the Disassociation Act of 2018, executed in the wake of the third great California Earthquake and ultimate brushfire, the former state of Southern California has been evicted by the remaining 52 states.

_NEW SHOTS - __As Barkin finishes the last sentence, the image of Southern California breaks off, accompanied by a rumbling sound, and sea rushes in to fill the gap. THE SCENE THEN CHANGES TO WHAT COULD BE STOCK FOOTAGE FROM a __**MAD MAX**__ FILM_

**BARKIN:**

_(OS)_

Now, separated from the rest of the continent by the new Napa Valley Sea, it is a desolate wasteland, abandoned by everybody with common sense.

_(Voice goes Off-Mic)_

What? Like there was anybody with common sense in…

**SHEGO:**

_(Off Screen) _

Just Keep Reading!

_NEW SHOTS – THE DESOLATE RUINS OF LOS ANGELES, HOLLYWOOD AND BURBANK_

**BARKIN:**

_(still OS, OFF-Mic)_

Yeah. Whatever.

_(back on-mic and in ANNOUNCER mode again)_

Left behind… the crazed former executives of the devastated non-computerized Entertainment Industry, even more insane roving bands of autograph collectors and former paparazzi, and… in the animated ghetto formerly known as Toon Town, hordes of starving and oppressed former non-cg animated characters!

_NEW SHOTS - TOON CHARACTERS RUN AMOK! _

_Yogi and Boo Boo are mauling the animated version of Punky Brewster, the elves from Rankin Bass' Rudolph are tagging everything with red spray paint, leaving "Herbie Doesn't Like To Make Toys' graffiti everywhere. The Teen Titans have gone Juvenile Delinquent and are beating the Powerpuff Girls senseless while Ed, Edd and Eddie are at each other's throats, choking each other senseless over a can of beans. And as a crazed Tweety chases a terrified Sylvester with a machete, a despondent Captain Planet refuses to recycle!_

**SNAGGLEPUSS:**

Heavens to Murgatroyd! It's a nightmare! A madhouse even!

**OLIVE OYL:**

Save me Popeye! Save me!

**POPEYE:**

Screw you Olive! I ain't gots me SAG check in months! I's is on strike! Oy!

**BARKIN:**

And Ruling over all of this strange and bizarre new fantasy island: El Presidente, former senior stockholder of the Bueno Nacho Corportation, now a ruthless dictator with absolute control over life and death.

_NEW SHOT –SENOR SENIOR SR. IN A SUSPICIOUSLY FAMILIAR WHITE SUIT _

**SENOR SENIOR SR.**:

I do it because it is for the good of the people. And also because it is very evil.

**BARKIN:**

(OS)

And the only way out… THE DEATH RACE TOON-THOUSAND! Formerly known as the Wacky Races, it's grueling two thousand mile trek through savage back country and saguaro cactus strewn wastelands where only the deadliest survive! The ultimate demolition derby of doom, where points are earned by running over your fellow toons… HEY!

**SHEGO:**

(OS)

Don't worry, they're toons, right? You can't really kill 'em. Keep reading Stevie.

**BARKIN:**

(OS)

Ahem! Where points are earned by running over your fellow toons, and where there are no rules except one - all cars must have seats of fine Corinthian leather.

**SENOR SENIOR SR.**:

What can I say? I love leather. It is a fetish… but a somewhat evil one, yes?

**BARKIN:**

(OS)

Oh yes, and also a few more rules – All competitors must operate in teams, all teams must drive truly ridiculous 'theme' vehicles invariably powered by Volkswagen engines, and all teams must be sexually involved. Well, that doesn't make a hell of a lot of sense, but it does sound damned entertaining.

**SHEGO:**

(OS)

See! Told ya!

**BARKIN:**

(OS)

And riding into this unparalleled exhibition of road rage run amuck are the most insane teams of drivers ever:

_NEW SHOTS - SHOWING TEAMS AS ANNOUNCED_

**BARKIN:**

(OS)

Monkey Fist as Nero The Hero and Bobo as Cleopatra!

**MONKEY FIST:**

What can I say? My love of monkeys finally pushed me into bestiality.

**BOBO:**

_(makes kissy sounds at MF)_

**BARKIN:**

(OS)

DNAmy as Matihida the Hun and Dr. Drakken as Herman the German!

**DRAKKEN:**

But… I'm not German… and she is most definitely not my 'Hun'!

**DNAMY:**

You'll do what I say, Drewbie. This is all about getting my revenge on that cheating chimp-lover! And a few quickies.

**BARKIN:**

(OS)

Bonnie "Will show her boobs to anyone" Rockwaller as Calamity Jane and Senor Senior Junior as Pistol Pete!

**JUNIOR:**

I do not understand. Why am I to call everyone 'pardner' when only you are my pardner, pardner?"

**BONNIE:**

There's a ball gag in my purse, Junior. Use it.

**BARKIN:**

(OS)

Motor Ed as Machine Gun Joe Viterbo and Adrena Lynn as Myra!

**ADRENA:**

Freeeeeaaaky!

**ED:**

If you say that one more time, I'm going punch you in the face. Seriously.

**BARKIN:**

(OS)

Ron Stoppable as Dick Dastardly and Rufus the Wonder Mole Rat as Muttley!

**RON:**

I think they just ran out of original Death Race character names to re-use.

**RUFUS:**

(Snickers)

**BARKIN:**

(OS)

And as the ultimate driver, the ultimate master of carnage, the one, the only Shego as _FRANKENSTEIN_.

_FINALLY ON SCREEN, SHEGO IN A BLACK LEATHER BONDAGE OUTFIT_

**SHEGO:**

Bitchin', huh?

**BARKIN:**

(OS)

With Kim Possible as _KIMMIE PAYNE_, secret member of the resistance run by her Grandmother Thomasina Payne (played by Nana Possible,) the only woman who can meet Shego head on, and has been drafted as the co-driver of the world's only Death Race car with fully reclining front seats, the KiGo Mach 69!

**KIM:**

So, I gotta fuck you in this one too, huh?

**SHEGO:**

You'd better believe it, Bride. I mean Kimmie.

**KIM:**

Wait a second! Are you saying I'm going to be called the Bride of Frankenstein?

**SHEGO:**

Bwa ha ha ha ha!

_Shego hits the gas and the KiGo Mach 69 accelerates like a bat out of hell down the highway, flattening a very surprised looking Road Runner and Coyote in the process!_

**BARKIN:**

(OS)

Two Hot Headed Women! Two Lanes of Demolition Damnation! Two Thousand Miles! It's all Way Too Much to Handle in

**_DEATH RACE TOON-THOUSAND - SO THE DEATH RACE!_**

**_A SHEGO CORMAN PRODUCTION_**

**_A SHADO COMMANDER FIC  
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Coming Soon to THIS DOCUMENT!

LEGAL DISCLAIMERS - **_Use in this context is probably considered fair under parody law, but just in case: this work was not created for profit, no money changed hands etc. Also, this story takes place at a time at which all human characters doing, talking about or even simply THINKING about "the naughty" should be considered to be over the legal age of 18. _****_Kim Possible, Ron Stoppable, Rufus, Shego, Monique, Bonnie Rockwaller, Mr. Barkin, Dr. Drakken, The Seniors, Motor Ed, DNAmy, Adrena Lynn, Monkey Fist, Bobo the Chimp and all other Kim Possible characters are the creations of Mark McCorkle and Bob Schooley, and those names are all trademarks of the Disney media , Edd and Eddy copyright aka ANimation. Snagglepuss, Yogi, BooBoo, Wacky Races, Dick Dastardly and Muttley copyright Hanna Barbera-productions/Time Warner, Tweety, Sylvester, Wile E. Coyote copyright Warner Brothers, TeenTitans copyright DC Comics, Warner Animation, Powerpuff girls copyright Craig McCracken Hanna -Barbera, Cartoon Network Studios. Rudolph, Herbie, ELves copyright Rankin Bass Productions, Popeye & Olive created by EC Segar, copyright King Features Syndicate, Captain Planet copyright Turner Production Services and DIC Entertainment, Punky Brewster copyright David W. Ducion, Ruby SPears Animation and most likely Satan.  
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End file.
